Whew! I am exhausted! What a ghoulish fright we all had this weekend, no? NO. Every year it is the same thing: Me and my dog Dunlop are positively terrorized by insensitive jerks who dress their dogs in Halloween costumes. First there was Thompson the spaniel in a hot dog get-up, then came Rocky, the bulldog as a daisy blossom. Fine, I said, I’ll play along, even if it pains Dunlop so. But the kibble that broke the dog’s back was Olaf the terrier dressed as a fish. Well that was it!
It is an insult to Dunlop. Poor, poor Dunlop. I’ve had the little pup for years, ever since I caught him on a family vacation in the lakes of Nova Scotia. Here’s a picture of me and my father on the banks of the lake I now call Lake Dunlop:
He popped up and we locked eyes
Dunlop is a rare Canadian Water Beagle. They are one of the oldest breeds (where do you think ‘doggie paddle’ comes from?) and they are quite animated and energetic. We’ve had countless romps of flopping on the beach. They are highly intelligent, but skittish and prone to depression. Hence the horrors imposed upon ol’ Dunlop every Halloween.
Our version of fetch!
Imagine someone dressed as YOU for Halloween, mocking you, insulting your chubbiness and fashion blunders. Dunlop is unique, and just because he is different, doesn’t mean someone can dress as him like he’s a monster. No more! I urge you to boycott animal Halloween because sometimes it isn’t innocent fun. Sometimes that hot dog costume hits a little too close to home for that dachshund down the block.
Dunlop’s family reunion
1 year ago | Tags: dog dogfish dunlop halloween image text dress up fish canadian beagle water
“A new muppet character was unveiled over the weekend by Children’s Television Workshop, creators of the educational program Sesame Street. David, a depressed political operative with sunken eyes and an oversized suit, is the first of its kind for the show. ‘We felt that politics have become such a large part of our lives, of our childrens’ lives, that the David character could help bridge their undertanding,’ said Rodney Boyle, a spokesman for Sesame Street. He continued, ‘Kids are more mature today, they respond to adult themes much more readily, and we saw that no one else was addressing this.’
“The seemingly life-like David is intended for children to identify with government and the media, and understand the delicate interplay between what politicians say and how their political operative responds. Sesame Street insists that a muppet who only educates children about the branches of government or how a bill becomes law is untenable. ‘What is more relevant to children and society today? Is it identifying the importance of balance of power, or understanding the concept of ‘spin’?”
“David’s first appearance came in a delightful ‘interview’ on NBC’s news program, Meet the Press. David Gregory, that show’s host, invited parents to gather their children and watch as he grilled the new cagey muppet. It was the mark of a new day for a more measured and mature Sesame Street. In one telling and terse exchange, David highlighted the success of a new jobs bill from the president and Gregory challenged the dour muppet with an excerpt from an op-ed piece in the Times. ‘I’m not going to get in to ‘who-said-what,’ but the president is trying to help middle-class Americans and his opponents want to stop him.’
“David then yanked wildly at his tie, tossed his head back, and cackled to the ceiling. ‘He’s still a muppet,’ concluded Boyle.”
1 year ago | Tags: muppets sesame street david axelrod politics image meet the press growing pains jobs
via Craigslist:
“Looking for a new challenge and opportunity in the sandwich industry? Are you good with your hands and have the appetite and girth of a cartoon?
We are a well respected and BUSY sandwich purveyor looking for a Part-Time Sandwich Tester to test our sandwiches for quality assurance. Our sandwich sales team peddle them to grocers around the city, and we need YOU to make sure they are up to code, write reports (tasty? Non-tasty? foreign materiel?), and talk up the sandwiches to locals.
Expect to eat up to 30 sandwiches a day. Did we mention they’re free?
Compensation: Unpaid, will reevaluate after 1,000 sandwiches eaten. Pay will be PER SANDWICH.”
1 year ago | Tags: sandwich image kaufman's cooking craigslist jobs eating tasty/non-tasty
from Craigslist:
“This is long because it is a REAL OFFER:
Are you a motivated self-starter? Do you thrive under pressure? Can you work in a marine-themed environment?
Dominique, our dolphin of 14 years, has moved on and as a result left vacant a REWARDING position with room for advancement. We want YOU to be our new dolphin for two 45-min shows a night.
Requirements: 3-5 years experience as a dolphin, or related experience. At least a bachelor’s degree in aqua arts, theater, physical therapy or similar field. Familiarity with swimming a MUST. Must be able to pull up to 150 lbs with dorsal. Willing to learn! Knowledge of Microsoft Office 2007 preferred.
This is a DEMANDING job with many perks. We will pay to relocate you! Compensation determined on experience. We are an EOE. Email cover letter, resume, and portfolio of dolphin tricks and stunts to ricky@nautiluscasino.tv”
2 years ago | Tags: craigslist job posting dolphin swimming real offer text casino show
