Embarrassed about your lunch decision?

Hastily shove it in this stylish faux wine bottle! Instead of appearing like you’ve given up on life, people will think you are on your way to a black-tie event, some rooftop gala benefiting your star senator’s reelection campaign with this 2006 vintage Chardonnay tucked in the crook of your arm. A choice find in a hole-in-the-wall wine shop in the South of Australia. It was but a weekend jaunt into the Barossa Valley on a tip from an old friend, a journeyman antiquities dealer you, shall we say, “ran into” in a Tangiers prison a month before.

How does it taste? Why, that’ll be our little secret…