I didn’t want to say anything, but Becky and I hit something of a rough patch recently. Things were going great, we were making out tons, and it all seemed to be working. Then Becky moved in.

Up until that point, she hadn’t really met my dog, Champ. Sure she’d seen him on the chair when she came over to make out, and Champ sometimes jumped in between us, but back then it was all cute and everything. We’d hug and Champ would pop up between us and split us apart and we’d laugh like idiots. But when she moved in, it just got too much.

Champ and I go everywhere together. We are inseparable, I couldn’t just kick him out. And I really like Becky, so I don’t want to kick her out either. We try make it work, but she really can’t stand the dog. Champ does this thing where he jumps on people and licks them, and it’s real cute and endearing. But Becky really hates it. She says her friends don’t want to hang out with me anymore. I’ve posted some pictures so you can see. Now tell me that isn’t just adorable?

I’m in such an impossible situation of a man, a woman, and my dog that stands between us, a filmmaker friend of mine is making a movie about it! Talk about stranger than fiction!