via Craigslist:

“Looking for a new challenge and opportunity in the sandwich industry? Are you good with your hands and have the appetite and girth of a cartoon?

We are a well respected and BUSY sandwich purveyor looking for a Part-Time Sandwich Tester to test our sandwiches for quality assurance. Our sandwich sales team peddle them to grocers around the city, and we need YOU to make sure they are up to code, write reports (tasty? Non-tasty? foreign materiel?), and talk up the sandwiches to locals.

Expect to eat up to 30 sandwiches a day. Did we mention they’re free?

Compensation: Unpaid, will reevaluate after 1,000 sandwiches eaten. Pay will be PER SANDWICH.”

I just got this new kitchen gadget, and it doesn’t take up much counter space, which is great. It fits snuggly with our coffee and tea presses, and it does everything. Well, mostly it sort of just sits there and gets hair in everything I cook. Modern convenience!