via Craigslist:

“Looking for a new challenge and opportunity in the sandwich industry? Are you good with your hands and have the appetite and girth of a cartoon?

We are a well respected and BUSY sandwich purveyor looking for a Part-Time Sandwich Tester to test our sandwiches for quality assurance. Our sandwich sales team peddle them to grocers around the city, and we need YOU to make sure they are up to code, write reports (tasty? Non-tasty? foreign materiel?), and talk up the sandwiches to locals.

Expect to eat up to 30 sandwiches a day. Did we mention they’re free?

Compensation: Unpaid, will reevaluate after 1,000 sandwiches eaten. Pay will be PER SANDWICH.”

from Craigslist:

“This is long because it is a REAL OFFER:

Are you a motivated self-starter? Do you thrive under pressure? Can you work in a marine-themed environment?

Dominique, our dolphin of 14 years, has moved on and as a result left vacant a REWARDING position with room for advancement. We want YOU to be our new dolphin for two 45-min shows a night.

Requirements: 3-5 years experience as a dolphin, or related experience. At least a bachelor’s degree in aqua arts, theater, physical therapy or similar field. Familiarity with swimming a MUST. Must be able to pull up to 150 lbs with dorsal. Willing to learn! Knowledge of Microsoft Office 2007 preferred.

This is a DEMANDING job with many perks. We will pay to relocate you! Compensation determined on experience. We are an EOE. Email cover letter, resume, and portfolio of dolphin tricks and stunts to ricky@nautiluscasino.tv”

via Craigslist:

“LOVE ANIMALS?? We Want You!!!

“We are seeking a fun-loving animal lover to pet-sit our cat Ruth while we are at work. Ruth is a special needs cat. She is independent-minded and likes to get into things she shouldn’t (catnip!).

“Things to watch out for: Ruth is very oddly shaped and will frighten you because of her creepy proportions. Also, Ruth’s strange size requires her to have an inhaler (give her a puff, it’s cute!). Compensation is competitive. Must have reliable transportation.”

Last cat post for awhile, I swear.

via Craiglist:

“Got a car? Drive pizzas! Voluntown, CT needs YOU to deliver ITS pizza!! Also and Its antipastos and spinach pies.

This is a part-time position, paid hourly. NOT BY MILEAGE! You will be cooking pizza and driving it to friendly (and not-so-friendly!) Voluntown homes. Please come by for an Interview and stay for the pizza!

We are located off exit 14 on Rte 11 (share a parking lot with the great Todd May and the great Wayne Foxx Toyota of Connecticut).”

And this was one of the more promising job postings.